Lamenting is Needed in the Church
But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9
Life is not simple or easy. We all experience trials, suffering, and loss. Jesus told us to expect them (Matt 6:34). So we should not be surprised when we experience them. These events can bring with them grief. The most difficult form of grief is the one that is the result of a loss of relationship. This can range from loss of a friendship to loss of a loved one. Our oldest daughter Abigail died unexpectedly in 2022. She was 6 days shy of her 45th birthday. The shock and numbness of those first few weeks clouded our thinking. I do remember going to Safeway for a few items, seeing others shopping and being perplexed: ‘How could these people be going about their lives? Didn’t they know our daughter is dead?’ The intense feelings and mental fog will slowly lift over time. With it comes the realization that grief isn't a passing emotion; it becomes a permanent companion. Another new reality was the unpredictable flashes of thought. “Abigail is really dead!” We of course knew that, but our brains were still working out the truth of that in new circumstances. At the same time coming to grips with the truth that we were now different people. Our lives now are shaded by our loss.
The grief can feel like a chasm has separated us from God’s lovingkindness. These circumstances evoke us into the language of lament: Why is this happening? How long will this last? Where has God gone? This language of lament is not limited to just these. God actually invites us to find our own words of complaint. Psalm 13 is helpful in giving us a pattern or liturgy for lament. We need to face God, then speak to Him with our specific Complaint,;next, we are to ask Him to deal with our complaint, and finally we leave it with Him and Trust Him to answer it in His way and in His timing.
So, why does the church need to learn to lament? There are two overarching reasons why lamenting is needed in the Church. The first is that it is a biblical component that God has woven into His Word and Worship. In the Word, there are many examples of biblical characters expressing lament, as well as an entire book, Lamentations, dedicated to it. Regarding worship, it is clear that God welcomes lament and even receives it as worship, as in the Psalms of Lament. And the God of the Bible is a lamenting God. In Genesis 3, we hear Him use the language of lament v9 Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" Lamenting is God’s gift to us.
The second reason lament is needed in the church is because of the wounded heart condition of attendees. Many entering a worship service are carrying wounds and hurts and burdens of lost relationships. When these wounds are left unattended a confusing mix of messages are silently communicated to worshipers, 1] faithful Christians must not struggle like I do, 2] I need to ignore and leave my heart wounds at the front door (therefore, both 1] & 2] silently shape a bad theology about God and ourselves) or 3] I must conclude that the church has no answer or more tragically no help for my heart wounds, so why keep coming?
Lament creates a bridge over the chasm of grief and connects us to God. In addition to that, lament is needed in the Church because it is a natural and normal human response to loss. Because we all have a sinful nature and live in a sin-broken world, loss is inevitable. Every day we battle against this world, our flesh, and our enemy, the Devil. The result is we experience lost relationships, missed expectations, and damaged trust. These unavoidable conditions naturally produce in us a need to lament. And since God has not ignored lament in His Word or Worship, neither should the Church. Unfortunately, lamenting is not practiced in many churches. It therefore remains unknown and appears to be neither welcomed nor wanted. However, lament is very needed. And unfortunately, the church can be a very painful place for the wounded by loss. It has been for Lisa and I and others we know. But I will address that in a subsequent blog post.
I will conclude by repeating, that Lament is God’s gift to man. The Bible records the laments of many biblical characters. We find laments in the Psalms, the worship songs for God’s people. An appropriate description of the Lament Psalms is that they are worship songs in a minor key. You may think, who wants to sing a sad song in a worship service? But that is the point; there are many in attendance who can identify with that sadness and, in doing so, can find their connection back to God.
Lisa and I are currently facilitating GriefShare here at TrinityWS every Wednesday at 6:30pm. It is a 13 week video series addressing major topics for those who have experienced the death of a loved one.
